i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
