she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
