When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
