she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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