spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize