it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Did you pee in the oven last night??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
