I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
