I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
