So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
love makes seman taste better
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
