I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
