I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
