I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
