Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
