Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
