covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
