he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
