Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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