Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
too bad you live with your parents still
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
