I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
