I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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