Sponge bath it is.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
