You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You were trust falling into bushes
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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