i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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