Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
