i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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