no, he came in my armpit
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
