I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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