My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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