You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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