I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
