I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
