ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
