My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
