another moral hangover. fuck.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
