just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My balls are so social today.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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