It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
MIDGETS
????
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
