god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
