What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
