I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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