Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
