At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
