we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
