I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
