U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
