Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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