Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
