Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Two words: nipple clamps
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