so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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