Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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