rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
