I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
