Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
