On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
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