i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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