Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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