She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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