dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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