"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This baby is an asshole
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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